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The F.A.D. Loop, which is broken down into the three following areas:
These areas are all things that can cross over from lifting a heavy loaded barbell, to gymnastics, football, other high-level sports, relationships and even getting out of bed in the morning.
Let’s face it some of us scratch and crawl to have any sort of faith or confidence in ourselves and our abilities.
And many of us, before even attempting to see what we can do, we are met the fear of what could happen (more so in the negative sense), the anxiety of not only performing at our best, the fear of letting others down and before we know it were defeated in every aspect of our human make up.
Furthermore, the learned helplessness that we clothe ourselves with becomes true.
Meaning that, if there was one (or more) experiences that ended up badly, we then assume that it always going to be that it is always going to be that way.
When it comes to competing in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, even with consistent training I’m defeated from the start.
Because a sound bite turns on in my head that says “you’re going to lose… Like always.” “Your team mates think you’re a failure and you’re never going to be as good as those around you.”
This is only a small glimpse of what this Loop is like for me, it’s a never ending destructive cycle if we are not mindful of it.
If I’m honest though, I’m not very mindful of it, in fact it comes in without my welcome or guard being up and before you know it depression/defeat has ahold on me again.
When you’re stuck in this loop, it’s easy to picture the worst happening, I’ve envisioned my arm or ankle being broken, a heavy bar falling on me (which has happened before).
But I’m willing to bet that many of us have thought like this before.
Mike Tyson, no matter how bad that dude was, always puked before a fight and then when it came down to it he went out into the ring and knocked another dude out.
One of the main ways that he was brought out of his Loop, was not so much because of his own power and greatness. But because of who he had in his corner.
His boxing coach was like a father figure to him, one could only imagine what a coach who does more than just act as a coach does to one’s spirit.
Good coaches and or good parents are a great way out of this loop.
If you look at the life of a child who is put into a foster home, it can be quite difficult for a child to trust someone who is now a fill in for what your parent never was.
But when that child learns to trust, their life begins to change in ways they never knew.
The same happened with Mike Tyson, I’m sure that his boxing coach helped him through the fear, the anxiety and the defeat. To where Mike had a switch turn on both in his mind and heart, that made him feel damn near indestructible.
That’s what happens when you have coaches, team mates and family that believe in you, and that is what it is like to be out of the F.A.D. Loop.
Have I reached that point? Hell no I have not, in fact, most days I find myself stuck in this loop even as I write blogs or publish books.
I’m still trying to find coaches and team mates that believe in me, if you aren’t surrounded by that, your chances of succeeding in any sport or in life are very slim.
I don’t buy that anyone one person is truly self-made, for even those same people are inspired by the ideas and actions of others.
If it seems through reading a handful of my blogs, that I keep coming back to the idea that life is purely about us, but living in community with others you’re absolutely correct.
Living in a community, especially with people that might know more than we do regarding fitness or athletics – means that we must make our ego and pride submit.
Living with humility, respect and reverence for others, guides us in living with a healthy and balanced perspective of ourselves.
You’ve got to send the Loop packing.
Lastly, when we feel ourselves being swept up by the Look, be quick to make note of what you’re thinking.
Take it captive, imagine grabbing the thought out of thin air and into your grasp.
Then, examine and weigh the validity of the thought, is there in shred of truth in the thought?
If so, we can accept whatever that truth is and move with it, if the thought is filled with garbage, imagine throwing it into a blazing fire.
No, this is not easy my friends, in fact it takes a lot of time but that does not make it impossible.
We simply must learn to stand guard over what we allow to enter our lives.
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